Why do we desire tragic love?

I just finished watching "The Great Gatsby" movie and although the plot wasn't as unpredictable as I usually prefer, I was left with a lot of food for thought (spoilers ahead). For the sake of not making this article too long, I won't go into much detail about the movie plot but let's say that Gatsby dedicated all of his achievements (from poverty to abundance of wealth and fame) to the sake of the glamorous scenario he had with Daisy (the love of his life). The war separates them, but after 5 years he still loves her and reaches out, only to find her married to another man. That doesn't at all discourage him, since he must fulfil the heroic love he envisions in his mind. He tries all he can, he covers up for her when she kills a woman with his automobile. But in the end, Daisy was never confident enough to run away with him. This was the red light he should have noticed. But he didn't, and that led to his death in his mansion, killed by the husband of the woman who was killed by Daisy. He died waiting in that huge mansion that was built only to be close to Daisy. She didn't even attend his funeral but ran away with her husband.

Usually, people would applaud Gatsby's dedication, as his only true friend did, but I felt as if with the death of Gatsby one illusion died in the movie and in my mind. This reference is for everyone (including myself) who often daydreams about that wonderful love, for which you would do anything and everything. One for which you can sacrifice anything. Heroic, glamorous and auspicious love. The moment when we take up the sword and run against the arrows of the enemy for the sake of love. But if we return again to the Gatsby example, in the end, the mansion he bought for her and the parties he made in the hope that she would attend one of them was left empty... the bigger the house, the more sad and meaningless it looks without people living in it. His illusions of that glamorous love didn't allow him to face reality, to accept it and move on. He didn't give up on the illusion in his head, but maybe because of that, he gave up on reality.

Before that, I was reminded of the story of Romeo and Juliet and how "wonderful" their tragic love is. I am now left with a question- Why do we want a tragic love? Why do we daydream about these extreme situations that would force us to prove how much we can love and how persistent we are? Why are we underestimating living with a significant other, trying to go through mundane hardships and balance our personalities with our partners, building up trust, being able to show vulnerability, making compromises and having lots of unpleasant talks and conflicts that need serious negotiation skills? Why should there be extreme external situations in order to make a relationship "worth it" or "exciting"? I feel like it is much more rewarding and difficult to put aside your ego and resolve a conflict with your partner in a way that is fit for both of you, rather than killing yourself in the name of love. Do people dream about such tragic love because they don't feel the "mundane" one could be interesting enough or because they don't believe they deserve love at all unless they show extreme selflessness? I am starting to think that maybe some people have such dreams of the great sacrifice in the name of love because they actually don't believe in it- why not instead dream of love that lasts until old age.. Maybe it turns out people don't trust that the reality would give them the chance to be with an awesome partner, so instead they dream about it, adding up some extreme situations.

The truth is that love is glamorous and magical already- two souls connecting, dedicated to living together, making compromises and fitting two different personalities into one relationship. Growing together while holding hands and supporting each other, seeing with time how your significant other has caught some of your habits or way of speaking and vice versa. Seeing an otherwise proud person say "I am sorry, I was wrong" or seeing a girl being comfortable with her body and looks because of her supportive spouse is magic! Winning the trust of that cold-looking person who turns out to be actually very warm and kindhearted is wonderful! And if the end results don't look "glamorous" and "magical" enough, then the actual process that happens in our souls/psyche/brains is truly astonishing! There is nothing mundane in normal love! Stop dying for love in your daydreams, instead ask yourself if you truly believe that you deserve real love and if not, then why? Lack of confidence, many heartbreaks? You aren't just a sacrificial lamb, you deserve true love and maybe the first step is to believe it! Of course, if it comes to it, it often happens that people die protecting their families and loved ones, which is admirable, but dreaming about it and aspiring for such love at least for me is not adequate anymore. Nobody would be able to thank you for your sacrifice if you are dead. No true partner would want you to give up all for them! A true partner would want balance- you being egoistic in healthy boundaries and being able to LIVE with your spouse! I would like to hear your experience and thoughts on this topic! This is an opinion against the extreme idea of self-sacrifice that is being idolised in movies and books. Stay healthy, happy and remember- we all deserve healthy love!